Lily's Ultimate Revenge
by Escoger
Summary: The REAL reason why Lily never forgave Snape and why James became a much better person during his sixth year. AU almost certainly, but it could theoretically be canon, and if it was, it would be very funny.


**Lily's Ultimate Revenge**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own any of the books in the Harry Potter Series**

Lily was debating to herself as she considered the plan that she had been niggling for the past few weeks, ever since she had learned of THAT particular potion. 'I know that James is a truly terrible person, but I don't think that he really deserves it just for being an arrogant toerag does he? I mean, sure he is a pathetic waste of space, but maybe he will change if I keep trying...' She stood in the lake water barefoot, enjoying the cool feel of the water on her feet after her Defense against the Dark Arts O.W.L. was finished, and then she heard the voice of Sirius Black shouting, _"Scourgify!"_

'Not again! Why won't they ever stop!?' Lily looked over and saw Severus Snape, her best friend, being bullied by Potter and his gang yet again. She ran up to them and shouted loudly,

_"Leave him ALONE!"_

_James and Sirius looked around. James's free hand jumped to his hair again _and suddenly spoke in that tone of voice that he always thought would win its way into her heart, _"All right, Evans?"_

_"Leave him alone," Lily repeated... "What's he done to you?" _

_"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he __exists__, if you know what I mean..."_

Lily tried to control her temper as the majority of the people around laughed. 'How dare he hurt MY Sev because he EXISTS!? He had better stop now or...'

Lily then said coldly, _"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant bullying toerag. Leave him __alone.__"_

_"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on...Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."_

Lily's control of her temper was fraying, any more and it could snap completely.

_"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily._

_"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape. "OY!"_

_But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants. _'Ooh! That Jerk! If he does any more...Although I must admit I don't mind the chance to oogle my Sev's legs a bit, that's my privilege, not anyone else's!' She had to fight a smile at the thought of doing a more private examination of her best friend. Still, as much as she enjoyed the view, she had to stop James from embarrassing her best friend any more, so she said furiously,

_"Let him down!"_

_"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Locomotor mortis!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board._

_"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily._

_"Ah Evans, don't make me hex you," Said James earnestly._

'OK, that is IT! James Potter, I will make you suffer forever for this if it's the last thing I do! You tortured my best friend to win me, and now you are making that into a lie too! You just want him to suffer for the sake of making him suffer, don't you!?' She glanced over at Snape, still rigid, and mentally sighed a little. 'Sorry Sev, but this will hurt you a lot too; I promise though that, in the end, you won't regret it. I've gotta make it believable you see.' She then said loudly,

_"Take the curse off him then!"_

_James sighed, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter curse, _Then, while everyone was looking at Severus and James taunted him again, Lily fired a quick nonverbal spell at her friend, mentally apologizing for what she was doing. Under the effects of the charm, Snape couldn't help but say, _"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

Lily, even though he had been compelled to do it, had to try very hard to control her sense of betrayal. She left as quickly as possible, after having made it look like she was furious at her best friend. 'I know Sev loves me, but I have to make it so that everyone thinks I hate him, when it's really quite the opposite...'

_

* * *

_

"I'm sorry."

_"I'm not interested."_

_I'm sorry!"_

_"Save your breath."_

Lily hated how she had to reject his apologies for something that wasn't even his fault when she really just wanted to wrap his arms around him and see just how much fun snogging him could be. Drawing upon all of her skills at acting, meager though they might be, she folded her arms and said, _"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."_

_"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"_

_"Slipped out?" _Lily tried as hard as she could to prevent any sound of guilt or sadness.

'I never thought it would be this hard! Come on Lily, keep your eyes on the goal...In the end, Sev will be much happier and get the kind of life he has always wanted and James will get the kind that he has always deserved!' She started ranting, pretending she believed what she was saying, not giving him the chance to explain, for she knew her heart wouldn't be able to take it if he tried to explain. She would crack, accept his apology, and her plan would fail. She barely was able to hold her act together long enough to get inside the portrait hole before she broke down sobbing.

**

* * *

**

Several Months Later...

Snape still couldn't understand what was going on; he had been trying for months to try to get Lily to forgive him to no avail. The strange thing was, whenever he did, he could have sworn that she was happy to see him and, if he brought a gift, her eyes would light up, but then she would get angry again and refuse to forgive him once more. It was driving him insane, especially as she seemed to be closer and closer to Potter by the day. He just couldn't understand it; he had insulted her once and never forgave him, but she forgave James for each and every incident of bullying, although she kept trying to make him stop.

'Why won't she realize how sorry I am!? I had no intention of calling her that! It was like I couldn't stop myself!' He sighed again as Mulciber walked over to him and asked for his notes yet again. Snape knew that Mulciber and the rest of his future-death-eater pals only had interest in his brain, but he needed their friendship, false as it was, as it was the only thing left without Lily that made him feel even remotely happy.

He gave the notes and sighed; quite a few of the people in Slytherin house were either already death eaters, or wanted to become them, and the ones who were wanted him to sign up as well. He wasn't really interested at all as, although he liked the dark arts, the idea of torturing and killing muggles and muggleborns made him physically ill; it would mean that he would be killing people like Lily. Still, he had to at least pretend to have interest in joining up, if he didn't it could be very, very painful to stay in Slytherin house; sometimes it made him wonder what life would have been like if he had ended up in Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin.

He had to fight tears as he saw Lily talking amiably with James Potter, he rushed from where he was sitting in the Great Hall and ran up to his dormitory where he started blasting all of the flies he could find in an attempt to stop any tears. 'Why can't she see that he doesn't deserve any of her friendship and affection? He's a truly awful person and makes my life hell. You'd think that, even if our friendship was dissolved, she would still hate being around the one person who made her former best friend's life a living nightmare!'

As he left the Great Hall, Lily had to stop herself from trying to run over and hug and kiss him to make the pain go away. She forced herself to smile at one of James's awful jokes about some witch in a bar and reminded herself of the plan. 'Sev, in a few months, it will all be worth it. I promise...'

**

* * *

**

Several Months Later Valentine's Day.

James Potter smirked as he put the finishing touches on Lily's Valentine's Day present. Ever since the incident by the lake last year, she had been warming up to him more and more by the day. Soon he would have the most beautiful witch of the year as his girlfriend and, best of all, he could rub it all right in old Snivelly's face after he was done with her about how he had finally gotten the girl that his old rival had loved for years, and then left her crying.

James had once had feelings for her, he had to admit, but they had been rapidly destroyed by the girl's stupidity in being friends with such a pathetic excuse for a human being as Snape; She had even hexed James in the third year for making Snape belch slugs during potions class. Still, she would probably be fun for a few weeks; she WAS attractive after all, and it would be a great chance to test a rumor he had heard from Sirius about redheads and their performance in the sack. 'Let's see, who should I cheat on her with first? Hmm, maybe the old standby of shagging her friends; Mary Macdonald is pretty attractive after all, or maybe Alice Nesbitt; she embarrassed herself with Frank Longbottom so much yesterday trying to woo him, I'll bet that she would be willing to do it, just to forget the incident. Ooh! Think of the possibilities!'

He knew that Lily probably wouldn't have been too thrilled with him if he had pranked anyone on Valentine's Day, so he had made sure to do it as much as he could the week prior. He had especially enjoyed it when that bludger he had snuck into the boy's bathroom three days ago had broken old Snivelly's arms, left leg, and hip, before a teacher had arrived. He had even managed to pin the blame on Snape, who had gotten detention for all day yesterday; sadly, the teachers had mitigated the punishment on account of how much the incident had hurt the worthless sack of flesh.

He sent the package to Lily by owl post; it was expensive, but he was a Potter so he could afford it. He walked into the Great Hall with a swagger, grinning as his adoring public beheld him, then Lily walked over to him shyly and put a piece of chocolate in his hands, then whispered quietly to him, giggling a little, "James... Please eat this at midnight tonight in the Prefect's bathroom, password Celestia, make sure you swallow it by the time the clock chimes for the twelfth time; if you do, I will make out with you right then and there."

James grinned ferally as he carefully set his watch. If she was willing to make out with him, then he would probably be able to take her right there and then... 'Let's see, I can accelerate my plans. It will probably be a couple of weeks before I am tired with the girl, but I can't be too careful. Its time for Snape to get exactly what he deserves!'

* * *

Lily smiled as she waited for the clock to tick down; it was almost midnight and James could clearly hardly wait until he got the chance to make out with her. 'Such a pathetic toerag, I will truly enjoy this. There is nothing he will deserve more; how could he be so cruel to MY Sev and ever think he could get away with it?!' After giving James the chocolate, she had rushed over to her ex-best friend, soon to be a lot more, and given him an identical piece of chocolate; after telling him that, if he cared about their friendship at all, he would wait until midnight and eat it right then in private, preferably in one of the empty classrooms. As such, she had only to wait.

'I can't BELIEVE it the requirements on that potion. It had to be consumed by both people within 12 seconds of each other, between the 13th and the 15th of February and took me three months to brew! Still, it's untraceable, so no one will ever know!'

Suddenly, the clock struck twelve, and James immediately popped the small chocolate in his mouth and swallowed. He grinned at her and said, "Now then...Let's-"

Suddenly, he collapsed and a transparent image of him floated just a few inches over him. Clearly surprised at the turn of events, he shouted, clearly panicked and furious, "What the HELL is going on!? How DARE you do this to me Evans!?"

Lily grinned savagely and laughed. Then she said, giggling a little, "James. James. James. How could you possibly think that I was ever going to be interested in you after torturing my best friend for six years?"

He looked shocked at this and shouted, "You removed me from my body, turning me into a ghost, because of something I did to little Snivellus!? What kind of stupid reasoning is that!? He deserved what he got; he's a Slytherin after all! Besides, he called you a Mudblood, Mudblood! How could you like him after that?"

Lily chuckled, and then said calmly, "What you never realized was that I actually put a charm on him to make him say those words. You have no idea how hard it was to pretend that I never forgave him when I really wanted to grab him and snog him senseless. But now, in the end, it will be worthwhile. You see, here is what will happen; my Sev has eaten an identical chocolate somewhere in the castle. In just a few moments, I will remove all of your soul's memories of being you and switch his soul with your own, then, you will spend the rest of your life living Sev's, suffering because you will never be able to get what 'you' truly desire."

James looked scared, but faked that he confident and said, voice quivering, "Ha! There is no way that Snivellus would be able to pretend to be me! My friends would figure out it was someone else in a matter of days, no hours!"

Lily grinned maliciously at that. "Uh-uh, you forget, your body has your memories as well. My Sevvie will have all he needs to pretend to be you; in fact, I'll bet your friends will like him more! Now then, it's time for you to spend the rest of your life hated by your former friends, beaten by your new parents, and loathed by all! OBLIVIATE!"

Immediately after removing his memories, she cast her soul switching charm. Normally it would be temporary as it was designed to be used on those who were already dead, but when used on two who had their souls temporarily removed, like Toerag Potter and Sevvie, the effect would be permanent. Immediately, she saw James's ghostly form zoom off into the distance while her Sevvie's flew right up and inside James's body, instantly awakening it.

Severus...no James, she had to remind herself, got up slowly and started to look around. Not able to resist the temptation after months of pretending to hate him, she tackled him and started kissing him all over his face and saying, "I! Love! You! So! Much! I'm so sorry!"

Suddenly, to her surprise and disappointment, James pushed her off of him and said, "Wait Lily! I can't do this!"

'Oh no...I waited too long...He probably has a girlfriend already, or maybe he doesn't like me that way anymore! Maybe I misinterpreted it from the beginning!' Swallowing, she said quietly and sadly,

"I understand James...I guess you don't feel the same way I do..."

She was about to run away, crying, when he said, "No! I do! But I'm not me! I'm Severus; this is just James's body! Please forgive me! I didn't mean to take it over or anything!"

Her heart leapt and she grinned back at him through the tears before saying, "Oops, I guess I forgot that James's body was unconscious. I already knew you were my Sevvie. I've been planning this for months you see..."

Snape looked confused, and then he put his face into a neutral look and said, quietly and coldly, "Explain."

Lily bit her lip, and then started to explain...

* * *

Snape stared at his best friend...former best friend...best friend...whatever, and said, laughing, "So basically, you made yourself act like you hated me for months so that when I traded lives with James, he wouldn't know about it?"

She nodded and he glared at her and shouted, "Do you have any idea how much that hurt Lily!? I thought it was all my fault and I had destroyed our friendship!"

Lily sniffled at him, tears visible, and said, as Severus felt his anger, much as he didn't want it to, die down, "I know, and I am really truly sorry for that, but look on the bright side..."

Snape raised his eyebrows and growled out, "Bright side? What do you mean bright side?"

She giggled and said, "Think about it Sevvie. You are now James Potter, inheritor of the Potter family fortune, quidditch star, popular and adored by the whole school. You get the girl, his friends, and his loving family, while the former James Potter now has to spend the remainder of his life hated by those who should have cared about him, have no friends, and be thoroughly miserable for the rest of his life. After all, with your memories, he will probably end up falling in love with me again, but I will never ever give him the light of day!"

At the thought of that, Snape's face brightened significantly, and he fought back a snicker at the thought of James's misery. Nonetheless, he said, "OK, I see your point, but its going to be a while before I forgive you Lily; that really hurt you know..."

For some reason, Lily was grinning, a look on her face that he would definitely have to remember for future reference. She said happily, "Just so you know, we can't start dating all of a sudden, it might make some people suspicious how we got together so fast. We will have to wait until the summer before we can announce that we are officially together. At least, if you want us to be together..."

Knowing a cue when he saw it, Snape said quickly, "Would you like to be my girlfriend Miss Evans?"

Without even breathing, she said, "Yes I would Mr. Potter."

At Snape's frown, she said, "What? We have to get used to it after all..."

Snap...Potter sighed, "If you must."

Then that look on Lily's face intensified and she said, innocently, as she walked up to him while kicking her shoes off, "Now then, 'James'. If you think about it, we have been broken up for eight months..."

Potter frowned and said, "Uh, I suppose so. Why?"

Lily's grin looked like it was wide enough to split he face clear in two as she replied, huskily, "You see, muggles have a certain... tradition for when a couple has to make up after a fight; I intend to practice this tradition with you all. Night. Long."

Potter's eyebrows threatened to leave his face as she pulled his face to hers and kissed him as she threw them both into the bath nearby. 'What sort of tradition could she possibly mean...?"

Lily made good on her intentions as Potter found out that his body's former occupant had a great deal of practice in this sort of situation and thought. 'Now this knowledge is finally being used for good instead of evil.'

* * *

No one ever figured out why James Potter's head suddenly deflated and he started being faithful to the one he loved, nor why he stopped picking on anyone except for Snape, but everyone seemed to like him better that way, so they didn't really care. No one was surprised when, after six years of resisting, Snape finally joined the death eaters. They certainly deserved scum like him. Lily and James Potter only grinned wickedly every so often when they thought of his fate.

**Author's Note: **I never could figure out why Lily would go out with Potter after he bullied her best friend since he came to school, or why she never forgave him for what he had done. I figured that this might make that make sense. Plus I enjoyed making James Potter suffer, even if it was only in a fanfiction.

Wonder's if this was actually canon and grins wickedly.


End file.
